Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in kingofthefrogs' LiveJournal:

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Monday, May 25th, 2009
10:53 pm	schedule another thought i had to add to what i'm doing while i work: - search craigslist for gigs. - contact online radio programs with a lot of listeners and hoc various acts. 9 - 10am - exercise 11 - 11:30 - vocal practice 11:30 - 12 - instrument practice (alternating: bass, guitar, drums, piano) 12 - 1 - Online promotion, including but not limited to: myspace, facebook, fiskeandherrera.com, mailings, ilike, ourstage, EPK 1 - 2 - lunch break 2 -3 - booking (Comment on this)
Monday, November 3rd, 2008
11:50 am	Hey All Hey everyone, I sent out the following letter as part of a political discussion among a few friends. I got several replies, but they all said the same thing: "You've raised some interesting points, I'll have to think about them before I write back". The mailings then moved on to other topics (which were responded to) but no one ever got back to me about the thoughts I put forward in this letter. So, I figured I'd challenge you guys to respond! And if you know any other people who will keep things civil and might be interested in weighing in, please feel free to point them in this direction. I CAN'T BELIEVE THE ELECTION IS TOMORROW!!! __________________________________________________ Hey guys, this is an attempt at beginning a conversation about politics. I was inspired to send it out when I received a forward from my Mom of a conversation Sean Mulligan had with one Todd Palmaccio. If you guys didn't mean for that to become a subject of discussion and endless "forwarding", apologies, but it was very interesting! I'm sending this out to a few friends, and I'm intentionally including people of differing political persuasions so we can really get a lot of different perspectives and ideas. If you know of anyone who you think might have an interesting perspective, please feel free to forward this along. The things I talk about below aren't directly related to what Sean and Todd were discussing, but they did make me think that maybe there is a forum for political discussion, and maybe it isn't too presumptuous after all to send around some things that I've been thinking about in a vacuum, and get some other people's opinions. I was thinking about something that's troubled me since the beginning of "Operation: Iraqi Freedom". I thought that there was some merit in going to Iraq, but I also felt very deeply that we were there for the wrong reasons, and we went about it very much the wrong way. Also I, was infuriated at President Bush for suggesting that Saddam and Iraq were somehow responsible for 9/11. That Iraq was being governed by a deeply oppressive and violent regime with a sadistic leader was a fact, and it may be the responsibility of powerful nations to enforce human rights, but how can we stand in a position of judgement when the "liberation" of Iraq killed so many innocents? How many innocents, exactly? Well, that's not a number they like to toss around, even on NPR. Sure, you might occasionally read a mention of unintentional Iraqi deaths, but nine times out of ten, when they talk about Iraqi causalities, they talk about suicide bombers and car bombs. How often do they take the numbers of civilian deaths dealt at the hands of radical Islam and terrorist groups versus the number of civilian deaths executed by the American military and our hired mercenaries? When I tried to track down some numbers, I came across this article right away. It was linked to from the website: iraqbodycount.org neither of these sites are liberal propaganda sites, they seem to be making an honest effort to report uninflated, verified statistics about the war in Iraq from every side. http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/nationworld/2002045903_civilians25.html So here's my question: Why don't prominent politicians and news stations report Iraqi casualties with anywhere near the same weight with which we report American casualties? What has caused it to become so deeply taboo to value all human life equally? In the 70's, pictures and footage of what was happening in Vietnam changed national opinion. Where are the interviews with the Iraqi mother of the double amputee child, who's arms were blown off by a US cluster bomb? She doesn't merit our attention? Most projectionists place Iraqi deaths at approx. 100,000 since 2003. It is estimated that 2/3 of those deaths were the direct result of our military. Many thousands of those people were civilians including women and children. Now, I do believe that motive matters, but when we hold those numbers up against the 2,752 Americans we lost on Sept. 11, how can we justify our actions? Do the families who have lost their loved ones in Iraq mourn less deeply than we do? Because after all, MOST of the time, we didn't MEAN to kill their husbands, wives and children? Should their anger not mirror our own at the terrorists who attacked us seven years ago? Even if one believes they shouldn't, is it rational to expect that they WON'T? Should Barack Obama and Senator McCain stand before America and state in no uncertain terms that this kind of war, and these kinds of human losses are unnacceptable by ANY moral standard? I certainly think so. What do you guys think? (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 27th, 2008
10:28 am	cheezed i am so pissed at this guy from AZ. the end. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 20th, 2008
10:45 am	first smell of fall today amy and i woke up in sturbridge. we'd been housesitting for my folks while they shopped for their new house in charlemont. the night was cold and i had the feeling of never being quite warm enough. i had strange dreams. in one of them i was in a classroom having a discussion with dule hill about jesus. dule was explaining to me that his uncle had found certain christ-like qualities in himself, and christianity was his way of aspiring to the best in himself instead of the "dark side" of himself. i responded "they say when you open your heart to jesus he fills it up with love". it felt profound and still feels profound. somehow my subconcious tapped into the idea of faith more concisely than i've understood it with my waking mind. this morning had the first smell of fall in the air. that amazing, crisp smell that fills up your nostrils with earth and sweet cool. i've been waiting for it as always, and it didn't disapoint. dad and i took a walk in the woods with benson and that smell was beyong nostalgic. with every breath i was transported to a thousand different times in my life and a thousand unmade memories with my unborn son. i have a loving wife, meaningful work and wonderful friends. life is good. (Comment on this)
Saturday, August 16th, 2008
5:36 am	chest pain for the past i don't know how long i occasionally get a pain in my chest. sometimes it happens while i'm exercising. right now i woke up from it while i was sleeping. i've always told myself it was just gas. it kind of feels like gas, and burping seems to relieve it, but now i'm not so sure. it's very localized in the center of the chest, sort of a sharp throb and a tightness; and every couple minutes it turns into a deep throb in my back teeth, like a cavity. i've been very worried about my heart lately. i know i have high blood pressure, but i exercise very regularly and i told myself i was probably keeping myself in fine shape, and anyways i'm only 25, what could possibly be wrong? my heart also occasionally "skips beats" which, after availing myself of the internet, i discovered wasn't all that uncommon and not especially dangerous, unless it was a symptom of a larger problem. i want so much to see a doctor. the lack of health insurance is a real burden. amy and i are waiting on our marriage license so we can join up our medical plan. she filed for mass health and received full coverage. i also filed, but my stuff got lost somewhere along the trail and they ended up telling me my window had closed due to lack of information, but the truth is i mailed them everything they asked for, they just never got it or never processed it for some reason. when i called the hotline to sort it out, after three attempts i was completely unable to get an actual person on the phone. frustrating. it's been a long while now, coming up on half an hour, and the chest pain is still in full swing. no arm numbness or anything, and like i said, this happens somewhat regularly (couple times a month maybe) so i doubt i've had half a dozen heart attacks in the last several months. i don't suppose anyone reading has any thoughts... (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, July 28th, 2008
6:30 pm	just married today is two days after the wedding. amy and i are taking it easy in ME at jan and michael's vacation home. the idea that this is a vacation home...boy howdy. i hope someday we can afford a home like this. the plan is to take a nice chunk of the wedding money and start a high interest savings account specifically to make a down payment on a home. we don't know exactly where want to live right now, but we'll have the next year or two to figure that out. the wedding went off with only one hitch, and that was between me and amy. the service was beautiful, amy looked beautiful in her mexican dress and daisies in her hair. i'm not used to my ring yet, mainly because it's a bit too big and therefore very distracting. the reception was very nice, especially the last few hours. the music really started flowing then, and people really started to enjoy themselves. i guess the whole thing was fairly unconventional which i couldn't be happier about. i tried to spend a nice piece of time with everyone, especially the people who had come a long long way. we're looking forward to seeing photos! the food was great, we brought a whole tray of eggplant up with us to ME. it's nice to have the ocean right outside the window. kind of like the Wales' getaway except no actual beach and we're 20 miles from...anything. the night before the wedding, people converged at the duck where my father was playing. me, seth, amy, cara, tj(who got off work), cyndi and bill, chris and kathy, herb and danelle with elijah and amanda. mike miller gave me a fifty (he was pretty drunk) to sing "stairway to heaven", which i grudgingly agreed to do. amy and i played our new song "by the lake" to great response. it was a pretty fun night. someone picked up the tab, though i couldn't get anyone to tell me who. i suggested that cara stay with amy in sturbridge because no one from her wedding party was around and i didn't want to her to be alone. joe, seth and i screwed aroud for a bit with the playstation but seth was already passing out on the loveseat so we turned in around 12:45. I was awake early, no surprise. we went and got cara and posted signs to the reception with hammer and nails. we stopped for a meal at mason's and i had an absolutely fantastic cheeseburger. )bacon, lettuce, tomato, mayo, ketchup) joe and seth were equally happy with their choices. (reuben and egg sandwich/homefries) after that we took a long walk at rockhouse reservation. there was some mass migration of tiny tiny frogs/toads. the kind i always imagined must be peepers. at first we were like "Wow! look!" then we realized they were everywhere! along our whole walk we struggled to avoid stepping on them. we hurried back to the house when we realized it was almost one, but we needn't have hurried. we were all ready to go by 2-ish, and we didn't have to be at the church until 3. when we got here, i holed up in sarah's office downstairs. linda, kathy and hunter all made appearances before being shooed away by one of my wedding party or sara. cara and i played hangman. i played pac-man. i paced. i doodled on a sheet which sara returned to me at the reception, dated as a souvenir. dad came down, seth connelly showed up. those guys went up to practice "come on up to the house", our recessional. eventually sara came down for seth and i and brought us up the stairs. we waited at the top landing while sara checked things out. "i kind of have to poop" seth confided in me. a moment later sara swept us towards the front of the church. now, i'd been waiting in the cool basement in a v-neck t-shirt until the last minute. now i was assaulted by summer heat in a three-piece suit. the results were predictable. i started pouring buckets off my brow, and was grateful for the white handkerchief i'd bought at wal-mart the day before which i reached for several times throughout the ceremony. seth and i joined cara and joe who's job it had been to seat everyone. then amy's party started coming in, one at a time. TJ and Bri, followed by David, and finally Amy, escorted by her father. i felt palpable relief when i saw her. after all, i'm my most comfortable around her, and i'd been in a stressful situation for the past hour, fielding relatives and soon-to-be inlaws. she walked down to "fields of gold", instrumental on nylon string. seth and david lit the tapers for the unity candle. sarah went through the readings, and in her speeches, snuck in some personal history of amy and i. she mentioned amy's spotting me back in high school, and our years as friends between couplings. we lit our unity candle and said our vows. amy was first with vows, and she had a hell of a time composing herself to say them. once she found her voice though, she didn't falter. i didn't let myself think too hard about it, since i had already gotten severely misty watching her go down the aisle and i was afraid of bawling. she announced us husband and wife, and made her closing remarks. then we were invited to kiss, and i took amy into my arms and pulled her into a tight full kiss! seth connelly started the song, seth and dad came in after the first, with seth bangin' on the snare and bass drum and dad singing out the song and strumming his martin. a beautiful sound. after the ceremony ray kingston did photos for us. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, January 9th, 2008
2:15 am	things can be hard sometimes things can be hard sometimes. i signed on with the intention of ranting about work drama. now i'm not sure if that will be as cathartic as i was hoping it would be. short version, my boss at the duck flipped on my friend monique and she quit. sean quit too. i don't blame them, i want to quit to. i realize that i'm not quitting because i can't afford to. i realize that making a steady pay check has become, at the moment, more important than living by my principles. but i suppose that's a statement worth examining. i just don't like the idea of working for someone who could lose his temper like that, and injur/scar/damage a friend of mine on a whim. i want to show support in a tangible way. i want to get everyone together, and i want us all to quit. i want the duck to empty out, i want the showdown between him and monique to be on every television in the world so the world can say in a collective sigh "what a complete fucking douche that guy is". in other words, i want him to be held accountable. if he were an employee, he would be fired. since he is the employer, he makes the rules? i suppose yelling at someone isn't really against the law, though from what i hear his whole body was pulsing with violence, which i can picture and do not doubt. i only have to reflect on the time when i most angered FFR to imagine what it must have been like. (Comment on this)
Monday, September 3rd, 2007
12:52 pm	sins wow, i am way less sinful than i was a year and a half ago. yes, that's right, i'm re-taking quizzes... Greed: Medium   Gluttony: Medium   Wrath: Low   Sloth: Low   Envy: Low   Lust: Medium   Pride: Medium   Discover Your Sins - Click Here (Comment on this)
Sunday, September 2nd, 2007
3:44 pm	cafe bon bon, lewiston, ME In the afternoon, Amy and I left our campsite in Poland (home of poland springs) and headed for lewiston. Directions were straight forward, an immeasurable plus! The bon bon was a cute coffeeshop with a nice space at the end of the long eating room for performers. Bonnie, the owner, was there to greet us. We walked in as she was putting up our flyers and attaching our name to their marquee. After sitting down in the pleasant AC and having a coffee, we loaded in and then set out to see what Lewiston had to offer. There wasn't a lot, but just when we were about to turn around and head back to the cafe, we saw these four towers, towering above the city buildings. by all measures the place looked enormous and i decided i had to walk towards it until i got to it. luckily it wasn't far, but it was just as big as it had appeared. It turned out to be a catholic cathedral built in the 1920's by the French Canadian catholic majority. it was really something to see. here's a link to some pics and basic info: http://www.lachance.org/lewiston/church/church.html so after thorough exploration, amy and i headed back to the cafe where we had sandwiches and played some rummy. then we set up, changed up, and played a two hour set. patronage was...light...but we sold two CD's with only three customers! and the sound was good. (we brought our own PA.) Deanna the waitress was a sweetie, and Bonnie brought her mother and daughter which was a pleasant surprise and audience enough! At the end of the night, we packed it in and set off for our now rain-soaked campsite. Current Mood: accomplished (Comment on this)
3:42 pm	8/29 Sit 'n Bull open mic, Maynard, MA 8/29 we stopped by the sit 'n bull open mic to play and say hey to our producer Seth Connelly. We also wanted to let people know we'd be featuring there in a couple weeks, on the 12th. Our session drummer for the album, Don Croad, was there too. it was the first chance i had to actually meet him since amy ran the drum sessions. it was good times. don played to some pre-recorded tracks and really dug in. amy and i played ariana, the explanation and rough luck before we packed it in to get to our campsite in lewiston maine for our gig at the cafe bon bon the following night. we had a little trouble locating the campsite..missed some unobvious turn, but we got there eventually. the site had been since enough to leave a map with our site marked on the door to their office. they even put an adapter in our electric socket so we could have juice when we got there. so we set up with not too much trouble, largely thanks to a new rechargeable coleman lantern. our queen sized air mattress actually fit in our teeny wal-mart tent (barely) which made for a more comfortable night of camping then we've known in the past. a good trick if we go to bonnaroo again next year! the next day we took it easy for the morning. amy showered and i listened to the car stereo and practiced some guitar. when she got back we did a dress reherasal and then headed out to the bon bon. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: tom waits, heart of saturday night (Comment on this)
Wednesday, August 29th, 2007
9:36 am	livejournal as prayer i think livejournal may be filling the function of prayer with todays youth. at the end of the day we get down in front of our computer and offer up our troubles to an ambiguous consciousness, relieving ourselves of daily strife. of course with livejournal, you can't be certain that the answers you receive are correct or divine in any way, but on the other hand receiving any answer at all could be seen in some ways as an improvement on prayer. Current Mood: stressed Current Music: randy newman (Comment on this)
Tuesday, August 28th, 2007
11:10 pm	survey 1. Do you wear a name tag at work? no 2. What kind of car do you want to drive? responsible: prius irresponsible: 1970 dodge charger 8 cylinder, standard, black, red leather interior, bumpin' stereo 3. What do you order when you go to Taco Bell? what don't i order? 4. Have you ever had a garage sale? nope 5. Is/was your best friend a cheerleader? no 6. What is your best friend's favorite color? shit...don't read this cara...umm...pink, like a vag! 7. What college do you want to go to? been there done that 8. What's the most unique thing you have in your room? me! 9. What's your mom's name? MaryAnn. 10. Do your bed sheets match your room? as far as i'm concerned they do. 11. What's the color scheme? dirty laundry 12. What kind of cell phone do you have? verizon... it has a camera! 14. What color is your iPod? black. (baa, baa, ipods are fucking amazing, baaa) 15. What kind of dog do you have? benson is a beagle-ish dog. 16. Has your older brothers or sisters ever told you that you were adopted? no 17. What is your favorite keychain on your keys? batman...mmm...batman 18. What did you get for graduation? a party! 19. What is your favorite Dane Cook quote? lick my back 20. Who introduced you to Dane Cook? my old college buddy brian 21. Who was your prom date? cara wales, molly macfadden (depending on the prom) 22. Has someone ever made you a Build-A-Bear? nope 23. What DVD is in your DVD player? the big lebowski (possibly the best movie ever made) 24. What's something fun you did today? had sex. 25. Who was the principal of your high school? mr. white 26. Has your house ever been TP'd?? No. 27. What do you think of when you hear the word "meow"? Ramona, from the Beverly Cleary books. "I can't believe i read the whole thing!" 28. What are you listening to right now? the pentangle. one of my dad's record collection... they're pretty cool. 29. What is your high school's biggest rival's mascot? right like i remember that 30. What is your favorite aisle at Wal-Mart? electronics 31. When is your mom's birthday? September 6th 32. When is your dad's birthday? September 27th 33. What's the area code for your cell phone? 508 34. What did you get for valentine's day? don't remember 36. Where did you buy the shirt you're wearing now? salvation army bitches, this shirt was 4 bucks. oh, and cara? i'm wearing it and I HAVEN'T WASHED IT YET! 37. Is there anything hanging from your rearview mirror? intestines 38. Favorite class last year? the class that i carry with me every year...yeah... 39. How many states in the US have you been to? yeesh, gimme a sec...35 i think. 40. Which ones? nope. 41. What kind of milk do you drink? 1%, chocolate sometimes... 42. What are you going to do after this? resist the urge to eat the sandwich upstairs. 43. Who was the last person you went shopping with? Amy. 45. What is your favorite fruit? can't beat a good banana.... 46. What about your favorite dessert? tough one. probably a reese's peanut butter cup sunday with chocolate ice cream. 47. What is something you need to go shopping for? your mom...no wait, that's someone.... 49. What kind of car do your siblings drive? my brother drives a sweet minivan. 50. What bank do you go to? banknorth 51. Do you like pickles? love them. LOVE them. but not sweet ones. 52. How about olives? yes, especially black olives. i like them right out of the can even. 53. What is your favorite kind of gum? doublemint 54. What is your favorite kind of juice? cranberry 55. Do you have any tan lines? No. 56. What hospital were you born in? St. Vincent's 58. Do you remember the name of your kindergarten teacher Mrs. Blaise. 57. What are you doing tomorrow? Practice, open mic, probably goofing off a fair amount. (Comment on this)
Thursday, August 23rd, 2007
11:17 pm	tense things are a little tense here at the adams house. and typing is painful because i have a blister on the tip of my left ring finger from too much guitar playing. I give it one part badass, two parts ouchie. so obviously amy and i moving into this place has created "space" issues. you'd think since we have a whole floor to ourselves we wouldn't be in anyones way, but alas. a lot of that has to do with the fact that we've had tom and kelly over for a whole week and so any company at the end of the day is seen as unwanted company. also amy and i had an immensely long day preparing for tour. stuffing flyers to send off to venues, personalizing the notes for the fliers so someone might actually hang them up, making front and back covers and tray cards for the CD's that i had to burn for the gigs where we won't have the album yet since we were behind getting it to them, picking up business cards, and, oh yeah, practicing because our first gig is on saturday. it didn't help that today was one of the days where my voice sounded like an elephant in the room when i was listening to our record. here would be amy's gorgeous voice, and wait, here comes my voice on a "harmony". i felt like barney gumble next to one of the three tenors. although wait...i guess barney actually could sing really well. cause of that episode when he was in "the b sharps". anyways, i know it's unproductive to be down on my singing. i'm probably better off just not listening to my own projects too much. look forward, right? don't dwell. well, i won't have time for much else in the coming weeks. We have two days off in the next four weeks. and oftentimes we have to drive four or five hours a day to make it to all our gigs. weee! maybe we'll actually recoup some of the money we've "invested" in the album. that would be a plus. because i know for a fact we're going to want to move into our own place asap when we get back from tour, it'll just be a matter of getting the money together, and finding a place i suppose... we are hoping to be a little bit pickier this time around with where we chose to live. ideally we would have a fair amount of privacy, i.e. no apartment complexes! if we could just find a little cottage set back from the road surrounded by trees...maybe with a tennis court. all for around 400 a month...for both of us. let me know if you guys know any place like that. Current Mood: accomplished Current Music: john denver covering "mother nature's son" (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, August 20th, 2007
8:13 pm	stuff about things Living in Sturbridge. it's ok. we have the downstairs. been trying to be productive in any spare time, sending off last minute advance copies of the album to radio stations and people who's possesion of said album may be beneficial to us. (convoluted sentence anyone?) Things are really down to the wire. The biggest gap in work is that we haven't printed up/mailed out flyers. I feel like a big dummy about that. I keep going to do it myself and before I even get started I'm discourage because we don't really have a photo that I feel would work really well. The fact is it needs to get done though...i dunno, I'll have to figure out something. Some of these should have been mailed out weeks ago! We also have to get the website updated to reflect the new album. That thing is woefully un-updated, but that's not entirely our fault. Right now I'm listening to an old Allman Bros. record, "Eat a Peach". I'm a tall glass of water and a couple ibuprofen away from feeling pretty much OK. Maybe i should take a quick break and do those things. My parents are talking about buying up a house on Rte. 20, across from that big marketplace with soup to nuts. it's a big 6 bedroom duplex. they're thinking maybe amy and i, and perhaps seth, are going to live in this place and fix it up. if we could split it up so amy and i had one half of the duplex, that could be really cool. i'm really stoked at the notion of fixing up a place. who knows what's wrong with it, but it looks actually pretty awesome from the outside, barring the replacement of some front steps and pretty much all the windows. but it's going for something crazy like 150k which for Sturbridge is pretty ridiculously affordable. amy and i have our first tour date this coming saturday. i wish we could have gotten the stuff to "discmakers" in time to have the CD's for then, but we'll be lucky if we have them by our fourth date. So, we can either sell the old CD's for those dates or assemble some basement versions of "just breathe" and sell them until we get the nice ones in the mail. it'll be nice to be on tour, but for those first weeks we'll still have sturbridge as a home base which i have mixed feelings about. saving money and sleeping in our own bed are wonderful things. however, feeling free and unfettered and sleeping in your parents basement are kind of mutually exclusive states of mind. so in conclusion, if you want a lo-fi preview of some stuff on our record, go to myspace.com/fiskeherrera Current Mood: headache Current Music: allman bros. "Eat a peach" (3 Comments |Comment on this)
Friday, August 17th, 2007
11:02 am	stole a survey from christy(ie?) 1. When you want to have "you" time, what do you do? play quake 4, jerk off, listen to vinyls 2. Are you comfortable with answering personal questions? yeah 3. Have you ever cried and not known why? usually i know why...so i don't think so 4. When is the last time you were truly happy with your life? this morning, waking up next to my girl 5. Have you ever found someone of your same sex sexy? a few times, for sure 6. Do you think long distance relationships are ever really worth it? they may be for someone, but for me? no. 7. What did you do at your lowest point in life? wallowed in a big ol' tub of self pity 8. What brought you back from that? reality 9. Have you ever envisioned your own wedding? all the time. 10. When is the last time you personally made someone else cry? eek, too recently i'm sure. sometimes i say stupid things. 12. Do you eat a healthy diet? i start off with kashi...but last night i ended with chocolate cake and tortilla chips.... 13. What part of your looks are you the most complimented on? arms? legs? musculature i guess. 14. Do you believe exes can really ever be "just friends?" of course. my best friend is an "ex" 15. Would you attend each of your ex's funerals? all the serious ones, yeah 16. In fact, how many exes do you have? since like, diaper school? (junior high) like seven i guess. 17. Would you be able to date someone who had a kid with someone else? at this point? umm...if i really liked her, sure. 18. When is the last time you were on a vacation? june, at bonnaroo in TN. 19. Do you make your bed every day? fuck no. 20. Are you too shy to tell people when you're developing feelings for them? only if they're unapproachably hot and i'm not already tight with them. 21. Do you use the Internet or television more? Internet. 22. Have you ever worn black nail polish? i'll use a christy and say "heck yes i have" 23. How much older than you is the oldest person you've kissed? dunno...no more than a couple years. 24. How much younger is the youngest? no more than a couple years. 25. Which celebrity have you been compared to most? nope, i don't look like a celebrity. 26. Do you have romantic feelings for anyone, and if so, do they know? my lady knows it good and proper. 27. What are your plans for your future? to write, record and perform. 28. Do you want to be in Hawaii right now? if i can bring amy and we can drink drinks on the beach. and there has to be hawaiian music playing in the background. 29. If you could pack up and leave your life now to move away, would you? nah, i'm good. 30. Have you ever done any acting on stage? lots. 31. Do you like being in pictures? no, photogenic i am not. 33. Have you ever been more attracted to a significant other's sibling than them? Nope. 34. What is the last fun, free activity you did? Ummm... Scrabble. 35. Do you enjoy romance? love it. 36. Do you tend to fall for people easily? nope. 37. Have you spent more time in your life single, or in a relationship? Relationship. 38. What person in your family are you the most like? i'm some combination of my dad and my uncle chris. 39. Are you quick to start a fight? i used to be. now i try to know when to let things slide. 40. Have you ever put anything other than cheese in your grilled cheese? tomato, olives, tuna, mayo, mustard (not since i was little) 41. What are you studying in school? I've got a BA in English...diploma still in the envelope...that was sure worth 40k. 43. Have you ever felt invincible? occasionally immediately following a bitchin' rock concert where i got to play lead guitar. 44. How many cars have you owned? 3 45. Do you get along well with your siblings? totally. 46. Would you rather be cheated on with someone who your ex had broken up with already or with a stranger? Stranger for sure. 47. Do you feel like you've got some growing up to do? sure, but i like to think i'll be growing up till the day i bite it. 48. Do you like to dress up? yeah i do. 49. Have you ever loved someone so much that you lost who you were because of it? hmm...no, but i guess there was a danger with molly. 50. Do you own a little black dress? ....yes. but i'm gonna need to lose some weight if it's ever going to fit again. Current Mood: amused Current Music: joni mitchell (clouds on vinyl!!!) (Comment on this)
Friday, July 6th, 2007
12:32 pm	peaks and valleys so my last post was the valley, now i'm headed back towards a peak. what changed? a fantastic july 4th at my parents which was basically a 6 hour jam session among some of the best musicians i know. i got to wail on a fender, croon on my taylor, and i even got behind the drum-set with brushes for twenty minutes or so, adding some minimalist beats behind some of my favorite performers. some day, when i'm living somewhere where i can have a drum set set up, i'm really going to learn that instrument. playing drums is so much fun! i also have this coming sunday off from the duck which is a major relief, and it's my birthday that day and i'm seeing a worcester tornadoes baseball game and the new transformers movie. sure, it may sound like a birthday more suited to a twelve year old, but dammit, i think it's going to be awesome. also, stephen frost made me realize something with his post to my last entry. he was asking if there were desires in my life i wasn't addressing. and i realized that i could actually say "no, there aren't". i'm pursuing with great fervor my desired career, on the cusp of my first tour and it's a big one, more than twenty dates, in support of the best album i've ever been a part of, and my partner is a woman who i dearly love and is also the most talented and devoted singer-songwriter i've ever worked with. just because things are a little amorphous right now doesn't mean i'm not working towards everything coming together. instead of bemoaning my present stage, i should be making the best of it and remembering with joy the things that are to come. there was a calvin and hobbes strip in which calvin's father is trying to impart wisdom to calvin. "sometimes the anticipation of something is better than actually having it" he tells calvin. calvin is incredulous. so was i, when i read it at the tender age of 9. now, from experience, it makes a lot of sense. there's a temptation to be bitter and disappointed when something isn't as good as you expect it to be, but now i've come to think that if i get a week of good feelings in expectation of something, those good feelings are real and don't need to be justified by a big pay off. i felt good during that time! that's the great thing about a linear existence, i can't go back and undo those good feelings just because in actuality it rained or that movie wasn't that great or the condom broke or whatever. also, i returned to the gym this morning and my body screamed out an orgasmic thank you as i walked home drenched in sweat and feeling more alive than i had in some time. right now i have my birthday to look forward to. amy and i are staying chaste until then to add to the fun, and the day will start with a bowl and lingerie, followed by pancakes and a day with my family and two dearest friends. hoorah! Current Mood: awake Current Music: you know how i know you're gay? (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, July 3rd, 2007
3:49 pm	funkity funkity it has been a depressing month or two. why? god knows. just been down. i wake up every morning not wanting to start the day. we're nearly done recording instruments for the album and for the first time i won't be up to my elbows in the mixing and mastering process. i kind of laughed to myself when we started this album saying "wow, it's going to be different for me letting go of the reins a little bit!" i had no idea how hard it would actually prove to be. this past month or so i haven't had a movie to score (unlike the previous several months) and we've only been in the studio once or twice a week, leaving me with the duck. and no rehearsals. so basically all of my musical endeavors have been stressful instead of therapeutic. when i'm in the studio, it's all about getting everything perfect. now, that may or may not be the right attitude to have in the studio, but regardless it's the attitude i adopt. many of my favorite albums are much more similar to those artists' live performances, with little emphasis on perfect singing, perfect playing, etc. the mistakes (tiny, tiny ones) are part of the charm. in fact, perfection in the studio is often an earmark or corporate rock that sucks balls. rock that gets turned out on an assembly line with the soul-nutritional value of a big mac. but i digress. when i'm in the studio, especially since i'm singing harmony with amy on so many tracks, has to be tight. having to perform perfectly equals grindy teeth and anxiety when i'm at loose ends. the duck is kind of killing my soul a little bit every time i play there. i've tried to revitalize myself by learning some new songs, and it's been a help, but if i can attempt to describe the experience, i feel kind of like a dog that's doing everything to please an ungrateful master. there i am, leaping and bounding, doing only the tricks i'm expected to perform, and i get no feedback. no positive reinforcement. i'm a human karaoke machine with a smaller song selection and without the slick production values. some nights i get people interested, but mostly they want to drink their drinks, eat their food and leave. people avoid eye contact as they walk by me the exact same way people avoid eye contact with homeless people hoping you'll give them some change. now, in fairness, that sort of intentional avoidance is somewhat rare. and it's rare for a night to by without someone expressing genuine appreciation for what i'm doing. but i am a creature who excels at focusing on the negative. i have it down to a science. i can have an absolutely brilliant day, and i can ruin it with minutia. something will go wrong, and i will focus on it. and say i have a magic day where nothing goes wrong? i'm still depressed. after all, there's my weight to dwell on. bills to pay. a life that sprawls out in front of me at an upwards tilt, and instead of a graceful and merciful decrease in incline, there's a cliff at the end which you can't see and you go careening off it and cease to exist once your body has ceased to function and you've lost the ability to relish life the way you used to. what a fucking joke. amy is something oh so right in my life, and i try to remind myself to be grateful for that, but it's not enough. my network of friends is so small, and i get so lonely. i imagine that i'm constantly grating on those friends that i do have which compels me to internalize all the stress and unhappiness i feel out of fear that, if i share these problems with my friends, i'll alienate the only people who have demonstrated that they can continue to stand me over a period of years. it's a short list. lately i wonder if i'll ever be able to emerge from this chrysalis enough to be an adequate father. i worry about the aquiring the lines and frantic qualities of my own father as i age. he has done anything but calm with time, every day he seems a little more miserable. this is what i have to look forward to? selfish, i know to be thinking of my father in terms of me potential future instead of trying to find a way to ease his mind and make him a happier person, but how to do that? i've given thought to re-investing time in a music project with him when amy and i return from tour. he seems his happiest when he's singing three part harmony, and amy and i played a memorial day gig with him where we did just that. if i could spearhead that group, going once again under the name "new england weather", then maybe i could create a therapeutic situation for him. of course, he's not the easiest guy to work with, but i'm not one to talk since i've adopted many of those habits from him. odd, in the extreme, how we are so likely to take those very qualities that infuriate us in our parents, and inevitably adopt them ourselves. now i'm looking at the clock and realizing that soon i'll have to hop in the shower and start getting ready to play at the duck...again. i'll have something of a respite in the coming week. i think i'll be going a full four days without playing there. i hear my father swearing at something outside. he's beens stung by a bee. he's proceeding to act like he's been shot. i've developed a tolerance for pain largely because i'm so annoyed by my dad's lack of "tough guy" attitude. when he's hurt, or sick, he whines. and of course, when i'm sick or hurt, i also whine. but boy do i try not to. lately i find myself jealous of people with connections to other people. cara has a new romance, my parents have a new dog, my brother has 20 people coming to the party tomorrow. i have two...maybe three. i haven't been writing, and so i haven't had a chance to see these feelings out on paper. now i'm starting to remember that the misery and loneliness is very much self fulfilling. i have no friends because i don't seek them out. so how does everyone else stay so connected? or do they? i don't know i don't know. amy i will living with my folks for a few weeks before the tour. Current Mood: depressed (6 Comments |Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 20th, 2006
10:04 am	dream last night i drempt that amy and i were living in boston and these bizarre race riots were about to break out. amy painted her skin white to avoid being singled out as hispanic and we left the city to avoid the violence. we went to the top of a restaurant that looked like the space needle. amy washed off the makeup. we could see boston from the top of this restaurant, and there was this tremendous explosion, almost like a nuclear bomb but there was no radiation. we watched, mystified until we realize the shockwave was going to reach us. rocks and debris started smashing into the restaurant. I saw a huge piece of a sign that was going to smash through the window and crush amy so i lept in front of it. it grazed me but amy was safe. i was severely injured though, i thought i was bill murray as venkman from the ghostbusters. i kept asking for winston. when i regained consciousness i was in a barn house. two weeks had gone by. there were birds chirping outside. amy came in, very happy that i was coherent again. i realized what a strain it must have been taking care of me and tried to offer her some comfort. she was having trouble switching roles so abruptly. i tried a different avenue and we started to get physical. she took out condoms. i looked at her questioningly. wasn't she on birth control? she told me it was all destroyed in the explosion. then i got really upset. i friggin' hate using condoms. we gave up on the sex and she brought me next door to meet our neighbor. there was a panel of old people sitting at tables in this other big barnhouse where they were having an open mic. a magician was doing an act where he flew. at first i was fooled, then i saw the cables. i had removed my shirt, and when we attempted to leave i put on the wrong one and ended up searching endlessly for the right shirt i had misplaced. seth glier (young piano player i know from an old job) was there and we started grating on each other in the manner we used to. and there was a new species of geese with broader heads that could talk to each other. Current Mood: grumpy Current Music: elliott smith (2 Comments |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 19th, 2006
10:18 am	open mic night amy and i went to an open mic last night of special reputation. the cantab lounge in cambridge, is known for drawing an exceptional array of aged folkies. of course there are the few who show up with the attitude of "hey, this is an open mic night, i don't have to be good to sign up!" which is of course fantastic, it shouldn't be forgotten (and it makes the rest of us look better) this was the second time we've attended the open mic and we managed to stand out which was a big plus. there's a real motif to the folk music people play there, so when we come up with our slightly more alt-folk version of acoustic music it gets people's attention. we're hoping we can snag a feature at this open mic at some point in the future. it's a tall order. the last two features have been folkies of exceptional success and also a bit more "seasoned" than me and amy. cathy schumer played last week, last night it was scott alarik who boasted of playing prairie home companion often and conversations he had with garrison keeler. both are really wonderful singers and guitarists and songwriters. funny sidenote, i'd been avoiding telling the host (geoff bartley, also a notable folkie) that rob adams is my father because my dad told me they were old friends. i didn't want the help. after two open mikes, i figured geoff got our sound and the extra recognition couldn't hurt. unfortunately geoff's recollection of my father was decidedly vague. so much for nepitism. Current Mood: amused Current Music: motorhead, duh. (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Tuesday, December 5th, 2006
12:01 pm	things are better thanks to those who offered support. times are clearing up. last night amy and i went to an open mic with the hope of securing a gig from the person who runs the open mic. we got it. making a friend of seth connelly over at the sit 'n bull proved a very good idea. both places he suggested we drop his name have opened doors much more smoothly than i imagine they would have otherwise. things looking up for fiske and herrera. ray had updated our website where you can now purchase our solo CD's as well as listen to a much wider selection of excerpts and songs from new collaborative material. if this sounds like an ad, yes i am telling you all to go visit www.fiskeandherrera.com and buy ten CD's a piece and send glowing e-mails to both of us! had many strange dreams last night: i was outdoors at a cafe outside an apartment building...my brother was playing piano and singing at a sort of open mic from a covered stage/gazebo. he was playing a song he had written full of stark imagery and quiet poetry, a very good song. he sang about his first day of first grade when i told him he was a good brother and was sad that he was in 1st grade while i was just starting kindergarten. (that never happened..) then i got stoned off a joint. whenever i get stoned in my dreams i feel STONED. ran into some people who offered to help me back to my campsite, but then they had to get on their motorcycles so i started running to get the blood flowing. i felt how strong my legs were and how green and spring it was on the trail i was running. i was in gym clothes. i couldn't find my campsite, though i knew just what it looked like. i must have taken quite the wrong turn because i ended up in the woods in front of my old front yard. i recognized i was dreaming and so i tried to will myself where i wanted to be. i ended up in japan. apparently my friend emily had been playing dice and slipped into a dice vortex and also ended up in japan. luckily she spoke japanese and we were able to learn how to get back into the vortex to get home. we arrived at a party where old friends of mine from high school were drinking and laughing. my old friend megan leapt up and wrapped her legs around my waist. amy shouted out in protest. i shouted back at her. the room was silent. i motioned for amy to follow me and we went into the stairwell to discuss it. i was very angry but saw that she had a right to be too, so i apologized for yelling at her. jogn lofgren was cutting a huge pan of cafeteria chocolate cake across the bar while we argued. a piece of it flaked off as he cut it with an enormous knife and he glanced from side to side before picking it up and eating it. it tasted amazing. today i am going to the gym, practicing guitar, updating our myspace, and amy is coming to work with me to play a set with me! should make work a lot more fun. Current Mood: amused Current Music: amy covering dar williams (1 Comment |Comment on this)